ECE Positivity Challenge

Families, Personal Growth, Teaching and Learning, Uncategorized

 

I recently had a consulting contract with an early childhood program that had been going through a tumultuous time.  The result was stress and burnout within the staff.   It was also creating an overall negative climate in the buildings.  After several weeks of observation and conversations I reflected back on how I would have addressed the negative climate when I was an early childhood director. 

During my tenure as an early childhood director I began to present quarterly challenges to my staff.  They ranged anywhere from curriculum based projects to self-care and back again.  I would present the challenge at a staff meeting and as a team we would focus on it for the next 3 months.  At the end of the challenge we would celebrate successes and discuss opportunities for more growth in a safe collegial environment.  These challenges became something I looked forward to developing and watching as the staff thought deeply about one aspect of their practice over a period of time.  I also loved seeing how we all supported and learned from each other, creating an even stronger bond as a teaching team while strengthening our practice with children.  As I reflected back on my successes using focused challenges with my staff, I decided to try it with my new client. 

Using my observations and some recommendations from another involved consultant, I developed the Let’s Get Positive Challenge.  I presented it to my client’s staff as a fun way to grow as a program and work as a team.  Over the course of the month long challenge I presented several different aspects of positivity in an early learning environment on which to focus.  The following are excerpts from my weekly communications with the staff designed to center their thinking.

Week 1 – Using Positive Feedback with the Children

Research shows that children who hear 5 positive comments to every 1 negative comment feel a sense of belonging, connectedness, and safety in their learning environment. It also contributes to a more positive atmosphere, which leads to improved behavior and greater child engagement.  When children feel connected and have a sense of belonging with their teachers and learning environment, they are naturally more motivated to take risks and participate in activities that promote learning.

So the objective of the Let’s Get Positive Challenge is to turn your classrooms and buildings into Positive Feedback Zones.  This does not mean giving out more compliments or using the over used term “good job”.  It simply means using more positive phrasing when talking to the children.

One way to increase your use of positive comments in the classroom is to tell children what they should do rather then what not to do.  As teachers and caregivers we want children to follow our routines and directions, however if you think about it, most of the time that is not how we phrase it.  Telling children what you want them to do is not only easier for them to process; it also falls into the Positive Feedback Zone.  It is astonishing how it works. 

Some examples of this are:

  • Rather then asking a child to get off the table, ask a child to put their feet on the floor.        
  • Rather then asking a child to be quiet, say that is a great voice for outside can you use a voice like mine now
  • Rather then asking a child to stopping poking another child, consider why they are trying to get that child’s attention, and help them negotiate the social interaction in a more positive manner.  You can say something like, I see you want to play with Mary, can I help you talk to her about that?
  • Rather then saying stop wiggling in line, say everyone tap your toes while you wait.
  • Rather then saying stop that, say I can see you are feeling frustrated  (sad, silly, shy, grumpy, tired), how can I help you?

Simply recognizing or noticing a child for doing what they are doing is also a great way to connect and be positive.

Some examples: 

  • WOW you have really been focusing on the structure you are working on.
  • You picked the creation station again today you must really enjoy the work you are doing there. 
  • I am glad you and John are having so much fun together.
  • I am so glad I get to spend time with you today. 
  • Look how hard you are working.

Week 2 – Keeping it Positive with Your Colleagues

As part of a positive classroom climate, teaching teams must have a respectful professional working relationship.  This includes communicating in a positive manner, working with, not just along side each other and being kind.  This is an especially important piece because children learn more by watching our example as they do from what we tell them.  It is important to model the type of respectful behavior and relationships we would like to see the children have in our program.

The following are some questions to ask yourself as you reflect on the relationship you have with your teaching partner and how that might be affecting the climate in the classroom.

  • How are you building relationshipswith your fellow teachers?
  • Do students often see you supporting each other in the classroom?
  • How are you displaying positive affectin your interactions with other teachers?
  • Do classroom interactions between teachers regularly demonstrate enjoyment or warmth?
  • Are communicationsbetween teachers positive?
  • Do teachers express kindness or affection to each other when appropriate?
  • 
Do interactionsbetween teachers convey respect?
  • Do teachers make eye contact, speak calmly and respectfully, and cooperate with each other when the need arises?

(Danner, 2017)

 Week 3– Positive Interactions with Families

Have you ever considered how the relationships you have with families affects your classroom?  Research shows that children have better outcomes when there are strong family/teacher relationships.  Here are just a few reasons why.

Teachers and families who participate in respectful two-way relationships serve as models for the children to create positive relationships with other people.

Families and teachers each have unique knowledge about a child.  Teachers and families can only see the “whole child” if they hear the unique perspective that only the other can provide.

Families can help resolve the mysteries of behavior by sharing insight into a child’s home life with teachers.

Positive relationships between teachers and families have been shown to support higher levels of pro-social behaviors in the child.

Use the following questions to reflect on the relationships you have with the families of the children you serve.

  • Have you taken the time to get to know each family? 
  • Do you know what hopes and dreams they have for their children while they are in your care? 
  • Is there two-way communication where you share more positive moments then negative? 
  • Do you provide one-way communication in multiple forms? 
  • Do you touch base everyday with a child’s family at drop-off or pickup?

Week 4 – The Negative Affects of Gossip

Gossip brings negativity to the work environment.  

One definition of gossip is “a conversation or reports about a person or people that haven’t been confirmed as true. Gossip is generally negative and can be embarrassing for the person or people that are the subject of the conversation”. 

People often gossip because it can create a sense of intimacy with our co-workers.  It can make us feel better about ourselves when we focus on someone else’s misfortune.  And is gives us a false sense of power.  

Gossiping causes a negative vibe in the culture of the work place because negative energy breeds negative energy.  Gossip erodes trust, distracts us from what we are supposed to be doing, isolates individuals or groups, is harmful to our health, and is just plain mean. (Aivana, S)

Here are a few questions to reflect on to create a no gossip zone in your work environment.  

  • Can you refrain from entering into conversations that include gossip? 
  • Can  you request that others stop gossiping?
  • Can you shift conversations away from negative gossiping to something positive and fulfilling?

In Conclusion and the Celebration

During the my visits and in my conversations with staff after introducing the Let’s Get Positive Challenge I could see a shift in thinking and behavior.  Staff would email me with related questions and ideas.  Children were being communicated with in a more positive way.  Teams were working together more functionally. 

Last week I visited the program during their staff meeting to recognize and celebrate their work and success.  We had snacks and applauded each other’s work.  I could feel a more positive climate in the room! 

Resources

Aiyana, S  http://www.youngandraw.com/how-to-deal-with-negative-people-gossip-in-a-positive-way/ 

Danner, A, 2017  http://info.teachstone.com/blog/how-positive-negative-climate-among-teachers-affect-children

What happens next? Learn – Give – Share Sustainable Volunteerism

Personal Growth, Volunteering
The view from Montana de Luz

I recently returned from my third trip to Honduras and my second in the last 3 months.  The first 2 trips have been service trips on the mainland; the most recent trip was with my family to the island of Roatan.  When I returned from my service trip this past January, I began writing this blog post, but life got in the way and I never seemed to be able to finish it up.  While on Roatan during our spring break trip, I began to think about the ideas and information I had planned to share in the unfinished blog post while new stories and people were inspiring me further.   The time seemed right to finish the post.  

In January 2019 I went on my second service trip to Montana de Luz (MdL) in the beautiful mountains of Honduras.  MdL is a faith-based organization dedicated to empowering children, youth, and families affected by HIV/AIDS in Honduras.  They have a vision to “become the leading provider of family-based, coordinated care resources for individuals affected by HIV/AIDS in Honduras- dramatically increasing anti-retroviral medication adherence rates, eradicating HIV stigma, and allowing thousands more individuals to live happy, healthy lives”. Since MdL’s inception the place has transformed from a hospice for children with HIV/AIDS to a thriving home and community center supporting the healthy development of amazing children. https://www.montanadeluz.org/about/   

I spent the week living on MdL’s residential campus with a group from an organization called Youth Across Borders (YAB)whose chief visionary and dreamer is my best childhood friend Courtney Bosca.  YAB is a volunteer based organization “that creates mutually beneficial cross-cultural experiences for children and young adults living with HIV/AIDS. Through education, YAB raises awareness and reduces stigma.  YAB offers opportunities by sharing life experience as a means of fostering collaboration, hope, and contribution, locally and internationally” https://www.youthacrossborders.org/   

The 2019 YAB Team!

As is often the case with service travel, I walked away from the trip humbled.  I reflected on and marveled that I had received more then I gave. I made new dear friends within the YAB group, I had worked and played with children, and I had supported the staff of “tias and tios” whose role it is to be the guardians and family to the children of MdL. This was all wrapped up in the pure joy of spending a week in the beauty of the Honduran landscape.  If it were not for one other amazing opportunity given to our group, I might have left my service experience there. 

On the morning of January 12th, 2019 the YAB group headed into Tegucigalpa on our bus complete with armed guards, to spend the morning at the offices of Red Viva.  Red Viva is a network of organizations working for children and youth in conditions of social vulnerability.  A big part of their work is coordinating a 9-day course called the Honduras Volunteer Academy. http://redviva.hn/index.php/component/k2/item/56-honduras-volunteer-academy During our morning at Red Viva, we participated in a very condensed version of the Volunteer Academy with a focus on understanding the definition and thinking about the concept of sustainable volunteerism. Sustainable volunteerism goes beyond the simple time and experience of volunteer work and focuses on how to assure the long term impact of that volunteer work through the model: Learn – Give – Share.  We were asked to reflect on how we could be sustainable volunteers and continue to help Honduras when we came home through awareness raising, fundraising, and staying connected.  This blog post is one way I am trying to be a sustainable volunteer.  I hope it will provide some understanding and awareness about the context of Honduras and its citizens through data and examples of both the challenges and hope I have witnessed while there.

First some basic facts:

  • Honduras is slightly larger than Tennessee
  • The economy is primarily agricultural
  • Honduras has a population of 9,182,766
  • 1,877,064 people live in the urban areas of the capital Tegucigalpa and San Pedro Sula
  • The other 7,305,702 people mostly live in rural areas
  • 32.37% of the population is between the ages of birth to 14 years

Now (some of) the bad news

  • Honduras is the second poorest country in the Western Hemisphere.
  • Over 60% of all Hondurans live in poverty
  • 1 in 5 Hondurans live in extreme poverty and subsist on an average of US $1.25 or less a day
  • Chronic malnutrition can reach 48.5 percent in rural areas
  • Honduras has the highest murder rate of all countries not currently in a war
  • The prevalence of violence and homicide is largely related to drug trafficking and gang warfare.
  • All sectors of the economy suffer from rampant corruption.
  • Estimates put unemployment at about 27.9%
  • 11% of the population is illiterate
  • Although the government provides school for children through 5th grade only 51% of children registered complete primary school. Some children leave because they must work to help provide for their families, some can’t attend because their families cannot afford uniforms or supplies, others, especially in the rural areas, do not have transportation to get there.
  • There are at least 125 children’s homes (orphanages) across the country

And finally good news and heroes to celebrate!

Although challenges in Honduras are rampant on many levels and the rights of children are often ignored (see the UN Convention on the Rights of Children), there are amazing organizations and people both inside and outside Honduras who are dedicated to shifting the existing reality to something better.  They recognize that by focusing on the wellbeing and education of children they can set the course for change.  In my quest to participate in sustainable volunteerism I would like to share some of them here!

The MdL and YAB board members and volunteer leaders who serve these organizations by contributing their time and resources so the children of MdL are supported and well taken care of. These are the people who have given me and many others the opportunity to participate in their programs as a volunteer.

Red Viva and the coalition of organizations involved who have multiple programs dedicated to facilitating the exchange of information and resources among its members to promote the comprehensive care for Honduran children. They have tasked themselves to raise the awareness of all Hondurans to the reality of children in their society, encouraging everyone to take action.  They do this by promoting policies and programs that support children and families especially those who are at risk.  Some of their initiatives include vaccination campaigns, parent education, child abuse awareness and programs that support the reduction in the culture of violence that is prevalent across Honduras.

The mission and goals of Red Viva are impressive, but what truly affected me during our morning at the Red Viva offices was the staff.  Their passion and dedication to their work even though they face many challenges and even dangers was infectious.

Compassionate Tios

The Tios and Tias of Montana de Luz who work tirelessly for 3 ½ days on and 3 ½ days off as the staff of the residential facility.  They are the guardians and family for the children who reside at MdL while also having their own families at home.  They support, teach, discipline, play with and love the children everyday.  I was so impressed when I watched one of the Tios of the “tween” boys as he worked his 84-hour shift.  He was a continuous firm and tender role model for all the children especially the boys in his charge

One of the dedicated Tias

“Mama” who oversees the kitchen at MdL not only provides healthy meals, she provides training in the kitchen to some of the older children, directs the morning chapel services, organizes games, and from my perspective serves as the matriarch of the MdL family.     

Mama with Courtney the YAB visionary

During our last night at MdL, it is traditional for the YAB team to have a talent show with the children and staff.  This year it happened to fall on a staff change over day.  It was that night I truly realized how dedicated the MdL staff is.  Many of the staff members who had just gone home for their days off came back with their families that night to participate in the talent show along side the children and YAB volunteers.   


The owners and operators of Café Santa Lucia who took a piece of hillside property in the tourist town of Santa Lucia that was being used as an unofficial dump and turned it into a prospering shade grown coffee operation.   When we visited they told us they were dedicated to creating a business that promotes Honduras in a positive way.

The ophthalmologist and the nurse practitioner that we met during an all day excursion to the Cayos Cochinos while visiting Roatan.  For the last 8 years they have come to Roatan with their family for vacation.  As part of their annual trip they spend the first 3 days in a local clinic providing cataract surgery and other eye care to Hondurans who would otherwise not have access to this type of care. 

Our boat in Cayos Cochinos

The Honduran boat captain and crew person who took us on the all day boating excursion while we were in Roatan.  They both described how they and their children collect used items to take to a small island community we visited that is home to a group of Garifuna people who have few resources. http://globalsherpa.org/garifunas-garifuna/

Captain Lynn Rippelmeyer the Founder and President of the non-profit ROSE – Roatan Support Effort.  Becky and I met Captain Rippelmeyer a retired airline pilot while watching the sunset one of our last nights on Roatan.   During her career she often flew to Honduras.  During this time she began to transport supplies to medical and missionary contacts on both the Honduran mainland and the island of Roatan.  In her retirement she has continued and expanded this work by starting ROSE.  She uses her flight benefits to make regular trips to Roatan, transporting and distributing supplies she has collected to community kitchens, hospitals and clinics, schools, animal shelters, and sports teams.  When we asked how often she made these trips she responded about every 3 weeks. https://roatansupporteffort.org/

The Honduran People who I have met both on the mainland and on Roatan who are happy hardworking souls, grateful for everyday!

So in closing… My hope is as you read and hear about the violence and poverty that are so often associated with Honduras, rather then brushing it aside, consider how you can help support and effectuate change to improve the context of this beautiful nation by sharing what you have read here.

Teachers Lead – Informal Teacher-Leadership Projects: An Interview about Forest Fridays

Leadership, Teacher-Leadership, Teaching and Learning

 

If you think about it, teachers of children birth through 12th grade are leaders, whether they recognize it or not, because they lead children and young adults to reach their potential everyday. Unfortunately teachers often do not identify themselves as leaders.   Instead many perceive themselves as part of a system where they are targets of increasing scrutiny, standards, demands, and mistrust. These perceptions often manifest themselves into frustration and low moral. Experts suggest that through increased teacher-leadership this dynamic can be changed.

There are many ways for teachers to lead that are both formal and informal. Some of the obvious and formal ways to lead are sitting on a school curriculum committee, participating in a teacher mentoring program, or advocating for local and state education policies that support children, families and teachers. Identifying and accessing formal teacher-leadership roles can be straightforward once a teacher commits to the time and attention.

Informal teacher-leadership is more organic and driven when teachers want to use their unique strengths and skills to solve problems or enhance learning. Informal teacher-leadership projects can be classroom focused or school focused. They can be as simple as sharing a new teaching practice with colleagues or more extensive such as leading a professional learning community focused on a cutting edge teaching practice. And although any informal teacher leadership project must be planned and implemented within the policies of the school, it should involve some outside the box thinking.

There is no doubt informal teacher-leadership can feel tricky and elusive. It takes identifying a barrier that if removed would impact the learning environment in an individual classroom, a grade level or an entire school. It includes stepping outside of the prescriptive and imagining how things could be more innovative and creative while meeting the same or better outcomes for children. It requires increased work and risk-taking because the informal teacher-leader must define their vision for change and advocate for it within existing systems, which include obstacles like set policies, standards, and outcomes. It takes working within an environment that may contain apprehensive administrators or colleagues.

Although taking the risk and diving into projects that require informal teacher-leadership may seem daunting, the outcomes can far outweigh the challenges. The innovative projects, developed by informal teacher-leaders, allow teachers to use their strengths to create a process relevant to their professional values to facilitate change.   Studies show teachers who choose to be teacher-leaders in a creative and informal way are more positively engaged and passionate in the classroom. Sharing the successful outcomes of innovative teacher-leadership projects can also have a positive effect on the school community leading to changes in cultural and moral.

This winter I had the privilege of visiting a kindergarten classroom in my local school district, where the teacher, Ann, had recognized a need, taken a risk, and worked with her principal to implemented a program called Forest Fridays. This program was beyond the scope of what was expected of kindergarten teachers in her district, but it was driven by Ann’s passion and the recognition children in her class needed something more. Many weeks after I was there to observe I began to reflect on Forest Fridays as an example of informal teacher-leadership. I wanted to share some of Ann’s experience and wisdom to help other teachers move beyond the prescriptive to a place of joy and shared leadership within their school culture.

The following is an interview I did with Ann and her principal Kathy. It highlights their commitment to innovation, shared leadership, trust, and the opportunity to provide a great learning environment for the children in their school.

Betsy: Ann, tell me a bit about the development of your Forest Fridays project… from brainchild to implementation?

Ann: My teaching background includes quite a few years of environmental education (In addition to my 32 years of public education). I was involved with camps for learning disabled and emotionally disturbed children for years. I also spent some years teaching at various sites around New England- including a stint on Pete Seger’s boat on the Hudson! My graduate school, Antioch New England developed Forest Fridays and is currently implementing the program in most K classrooms within the state of Vermont. http://forestkinder.org/

During my 14 years as a kindergarten teacher in this district, I have been trying to use our sense of place in my teaching.  When I began to see how much school was changing for 5-6 year olds, I began to go outside as much as I could to incorporate the standards with our local environment.  Early on I began a partnership with Grand Teton National Park and with the naturalists there. I helped develop a yearly program that coincided with our science standards that included three visits with a ranger.  We noted how animals/plants change with the seasons.  Then specifically how animals change what they wear, what they eat and how they move through these seasons.

The last three years I have implemented a Forest Friday program in my classroom.

Betsy: How did you present and advocate for your idea of Forest Fridays to the administrative leadership of your school?

Ann: I presented Forest Fridays to Kathy my principal.  She was excited when I explained my ideas. She trusted me and I ran with it!  It is a very mini version compared to the programs in Vermont – we are able go out for 1.5-2 hours each Friday afternoon, in Vermont they are outside all day.

Betsy: As schools across the country are focused on standards and assessment where does Forest Fridays fit in?

Ann: Forest Fridays meet all standards.  It is so easy to use your school site to explore, use math skills, science, read, write, and most importantly work as a group to solve problems and have fun together as a community.

Kathy: Having a standards-based curriculum can actually give a teacher more freedom to implement things like Forest Fridays.  When planned intentionally and carefully, the teacher can ensure that kids get many exposures to the skills they need to master in a highly engaging and organic way.

Betsy: Kathy – The implementation of Forest Fridays is an example of shared leadership, with Ann as a teacher-leader designing and advocating for her project, and you, as her administrator, supporting her innovation. What could you share about this experience that might help other administrators support their teachers so they can be more innovative and individualized in their practice?

Kathy: First, I have a great deal of faith in Ann. After having been in her classroom many times over the last few years, I know her to be a teacher who understands her students and their needs.  There is no wasted time in her classroom. Her data collection is always spot on. She has a great understanding of where kids are as they move toward mastery of kindergarten standards. When Ann came to me about wanting to do Forest Fridays, I asked her to map out how she would purposefully meet the standards with the activities she was proposing and in addition, how could we prove that students were moving toward mastery of kindergarten goals. Based on the fact that Ann is a master Kindergarten teacher and the idea that Forest Friday would purposefully move our kids in the right direction, I was 100% confident that Ann was following her passion with the kids, and that they would meet kindergarten standards with flying colors.

Betsy: Ann what have been the rewards of Forest Friday for both you personally and the children you teach?

Ann: This year I have had a very talented academic class.  Where they needed their work is in the social realm.  Forest Fridays helped us by making up new group games based on a book we were reading My Father’s Dragon. Each week we change the game to fit the book.  This takes some compromise, but in the end they have so much fun acting out the book.

I think the sounds that I hear during this type of work are so rewarding- squeals of laughter, yelling, voices like characters with direct quotes from the book etc.

We also spend lots of time in the school garden working- this is also good for young minds and bodies.  In the winter we roam around and compare the seasons and changes that we see.  One of my favorite things has been the freedom of the program for the children to pick what they are interested in – they have spent hours with boards/balls and making things move.  It is fun to watch what they create on their own- then we talk about motion/catapults, etc.

Betsy: Something I noticed and was impressed with when I was there for Forest Friday was the journal entries the children made when they came inside. The children were so engaged and intentional in what they were recording.

Betsy: What have been some challenges you faced?

Ann: I need another adult to always be with me and our schedule has to be open enough for time to explore.

Betsy: Kathy, as an administrator, what do you see as the risk to supporting this kind of project?

 Kathy: The risk of approving this kind of project is that the adults could lose sight of the ultimate goal, which is that our kids move forward on the learning continuum we have established as a district. If Forest Friday was simply a fun time outdoors, then the adults would not be doing their job.  Ann deeply understands what the progression of student learning is, and uses Forest Friday as a springboard to meet each student where they are and help them increase their knowledge and skills at an appropriate pace.

Betsy: What has been the outcome of Forest Fridays from your perspective?

Kathy: From my perspective as a principal, I see Forest Fridays as an exemplar for using student engagement to increase student achievement, interest and the so-called “soft skills” that we know are important.  When the kids are outside on Friday, they are completely absorbed in their work.  They make observations, hypothesis and draw conclusions.  When they return to the classroom, they write about what they saw and learned, so the writing is about something they have a deep connection to. When they read, Ann is always asking them to make connections to their experiences on Forest Fridays, something that good readers do. I see a group of happy kids who are ready for challenges that go beyond worksheets.  With careful planning and purposeful attention to standards, I believe you get the best of both worlds.  You get education that is relevant and meaningful and education that intentionally moves kids learning forward.

Betsy: What are other ways both formal and informal that you use to support leadership amongst the teachers and staff in your building?

Kathy: I personally believe that teachers are the basic unit of a school and that it is my job to get out of their way when they want to try something new.  I serve as the sounding board and help them keep standards at the forefront of their thinking. My relationship with them is a little bit supervisor, and a whole lot coach and listener. I try to help all teachers keep their focus on student engagement, social and emotional skills and student achievement.

Betsy: Ann, the implementation of Forest Fridays is an example of your personal leadership as a teacher and shared leadership with your administration as you advocated for and developed the new program. What could you share about this experience that might help other teachers move their innovated teaching ideas forward in their schools?

Ann: Look at your standards and think about other ways of facilitating learning that are out of the box. How can you meet these standards in another way? This may also help you meet the variety of learning styles within your classroom.

Betsy: How do you plan to use this experience to support other teachers?

Ann: I am retiring after this year, but I hope to continue this work through Teton National Park on a volunteer basis.  I hope to help elementary teachers get out and use their environment to meet their grade level standards- in all areas of the curriculum.

After reading this blog post Gillian the superintendent of TCSD made these comments:

“This is lovely! I loved the idea because it raised the expectation for kids and they started seeing themselves, at 5-6 years old, as researchers with valid observations that contribute to a larger viewpoint. Ann also is masterful at allowing individual reflection as well as group collaboration, honoring the introverts and extroverts. Forest Fridays was a hit and the power of teacher leadership changes the dynamic.”

Name Calling… A Reflection in a Divisive Time

Communication, Personal Growth

There seems to be a lot of name-calling going on, but I want to remind you what our good dad told me one time. Labels are for soup cans.    George W. Bush

Recently I have been reflecting on the act of name-calling, which in its best form can still have unintentional negative consequences and in its worst form is an intentional way of attempting to hold power over another person.  As a result of this ongoing reflection, I have come to the realization, in general all types of name-calling should be used with extreme caution or not at all.

For my entire career I have had cute pet names for the children with whom I work and for my own daughter.   These names have always been playful and meant in a loving way. Often I would use a name that rhymed with the child’s actual name or use terms of endearment such as “sweet pea”, “chug-a-bug”, or ‘babe”.   Most children have accepted these nicknames in the way they were meant, but not always and I have taken note.

We are all given a name early in life, and as we develop and have life experiences our name begins to represent who we believe we are. So… when a 3-year-old hears someone, big or small, use a name other then the one they proudly associate with themselves, they can feel hurt or confused. For example although I have always used the term “babe” as a term of endearment – a 3 year old can hear it derogatorily, because they are working very hard not to be a baby anymore. My term of endearment is actually received as a negative message quashing the way the child feels about herself as a developing person. As an early childhood professional, I recognize children are not always able to articulate these feelings, so I have consciously tried to break my nickname habit.

When name-calling becomes intentional and negative, then it begins to become bullying, and abuse. It is one person’s attempt to use the power of their words to degrade someone else and make them feel they are not good enough. When a person, child or adult, is called names like “stupid”, “ugly”, or “fat”, especially if they hear it again and again over time, it will begin to affect their self-worth, confidence and even their overall physical health. Hearing negative comments can cause a person to believe things that are not true and even influence them to make personal changes that are not beneficial.  For example, a teen who is repeatedly called “stupid” by other teens may begin to internalize and believe they are stupid affecting their mindset and how they respond to challenges in schoolwork and beyond.

Now let’s think about name calling in terms of professionals working together. As we all know, there are times when our colleagues challenge us with their perspectives or behaviors. When this happens we have choices in how we react. One of those choices is to abandon reason, bow to our emotions and call them a name. This adversarial reaction immediately puts us against them, and is sure to shut down all communication. For some people, especially those who feel threatened, this may be their underlying purpose, but it is not an affective professional practice when collaboration is necessary to get things accomplished.

As I stated in my last blog post Talk Less, Smile More: Civil Discourse http://www.ecconsultingwy.com/?p=151… We are living in a time of divisiveness. More and more often friends, neighbors and family members are finding themselves at odds with each other over their perspectives of how the world should work. In these times we have a choice, we can bow to our emotions and become an insulting, rude name-caller, creating more divisiveness and stopping any potential dialogue or we can come from a place of respect.

My choice is respect.

Talk Less, Smile More….Civil Discourse

Communication, Personal Growth

 

This summer my daughter was asked to memorize a song from the musical Hamilton as part of an audition for camp. We downloaded the sound track and she proceeded to memorize the music from the entire first act. As I proceeded to listened to her sing it over and over, there was one line that stuck out to me, “talk less, smile more”. Honestly, when you listen to the song, the intended meaning of the completed line is a bit different then what I want to write about here… but those four words got me thinking.

Why did this phrase get me thinking? Because so often when we are having conversations with other people we are so focused on what we are saying, our perspective, and what our response is going to be, we never really listen for understanding. And if we are not listening for understanding, we are not truly communicating. True communication is about more than speaking, it is about talking less, listening more, and is accentuated by our body language.

Recently I spent some time with a person who loves to play the “devils advocate” and often challenges what other people are saying. Sometimes this is a great way to get a thoughtful conversation going, but in this circumstance it doesn’t, because the person is always preparing their next response and not listening to what other people are saying. She is more in her head with her thoughts, rather then listening and fully engaging in the conversation. Conversations with this person usually dead-end and leave the other participants frustrated.

According to yourdictionary.com and Wikipedia “civil (courteous) discourse (conversation) is engagement in discourse intended to enhance understanding”. There is nothing I like better then civil discourse, the opportunity to have a discussion with someone who hopefully has a different understanding or perspective then I have. It gives me a chance to consider and test my stance, and if I am lucky… it allows me to add something to my knowledge base… but it only works if my participation in the conversation includes listening for understanding. When someone else is speaking, I can not be half listening and half considering my rebuttal. I must be fully engaging in what the other person is saying. And then when I don’t understand the other person’s perspective or the information being presented, it is my job as a communicator to pause and to reciprocate with questions to dig deeper and gain understanding. Even if in the end we agree to disagree, my goal is to walk away from the conversation having a deeper awareness of the other participant’s perspective.

Another important aspect of civil discourse is maintaining a level of respect for the other communicator… even if your perspectives are at odds with one another.  How we listen, the tone of our voice, and the words we choose to respond with are important aspects to maintaining respect, but just as important is how we respond with our bodies. Are we leaning in, smiling, showing interest by looking at the speaker or are we crossing our arms, rolling our eyes (something my family has told me I do on occasion) and looking away? Are we telling the other communicator we are open to understanding their perspective or are we closed off and unwilling to really participate in civil discourse?

We are living in a time of divisiveness. More and more often friends, neighbors and family members are finding themselves at odds with each other over their perspectives of how the world should work and rather than participating in civil discourse we shut each other out. It can be a real downer. However, on a recent Sunday evening (September 24, 2017), shortly after I had started to write this blog post, my family was watching 60 Minutes. One of the segments called Divided was a conversation facilitated by none other then Oprah Winfrey, the newly hired 60 Minutes part time commentator. The conversation examined the polarization of the United States and included 14 panelists from the state of Michigan with widely varying perspectives. I can not say there was much shift in perspectives, but it was an example of civil discourse on national television and I loved it.

Engaging in civil discourse, by respectfully listening for understanding and responding with openness is not always easy. It takes awareness and discipline. It is something that requires ongoing practice over a lifetime. But I truly believe if each of us talks less and smiles more while participating in civil discourse, great things can happen.

 

 

 

 

Growing Minds Together

Personal Growth

 

GrowthvFixedimage

To my amazement, this week marks the end of my daughter’s tenure as a 4th grader. It has been a fantastic year and I have witnessed so much growth in her cognitive ability and confidence. It is such a joy to see that with the support of her family and teachers along with hard work and determination she is developing into a remarkable young woman.

Rewind 9 months to the beginning of the 4th grade school year, like so many other families across the country, we were invited to come to our daughter’s classroom to meet her teachers and hear about the academic year ahead. During the evening’s presentation the teachers shared their vision and commitment to creating a culture of growth mindset in the classroom based on the Carol Dweck’s research and book Mindset: The New Psychology of Success. They wanted to create an environment where the students believed they could grow their brains or develop their intelligence by embracing the challenge, putting forth effort, seeking input from others, and trying new strategies. Furthermore they wanted to help the students realize mistakes are part of learning. They wanted the children to recognize when they were challenged by new concepts they can grow their understanding by asking for feedback and looking at different strategies (Dweck, 2015).

That evening at the end of the presentation as a way to model a growth mindset for our children, each family member was asked by the teachers to write on an index card one skill or practice in our lives we would like to develop further, something that could be developed through effort, new strategies, and skill building.   I immediately wrote down public speaking.  It is not that I am a bad public speaker, but it is a skill I use often, I feel challenged by at times, and I want to improve.  What intrigued me about focusing on public speaking from a growth mindset was the possibility of becoming better through intentionality.   Not just hoping I would become better with practice, but by being genuinely open to learning.

Over the course of the school year I have had quite a few opportunities to engage in public speaking through my leadership development and facilitation work, which has allowed me to work on my practice. What was particularly helpful is that in several instances I used the same outline and content more than once.  This provided me with opportunities to make adjustments based on feedback from others and personal observation, but only when I moved away from wallowing in my personally perceived shortcomings and embraced the feedback as a way to get better.

Last weekend I attended the NAEYC Professional Development Institute in Baltimore, Maryland. During the Institute I had another opportunity to speak in front of a group and facilitate a panel discussion.   Most of my life I have leaned toward a fixed mindset, often being my own worst critic and in the habit of identifying my incompetence rather then looking for opportunities for growth, even when the feedback has been very positive. Saturday, following the panel discussion, I began to fall into this learned trap once again, but I stopped myself and I began to tease apart the opportunities for growth instead. Specifically, I took some time to identify how I felt physically and mentally when things were going well compared to when I was feeling challenged. Stopping to refocus allowed me to be curious and eager to learn from this experience.   What was most amazing to me was over the course of the rest of the Institute, in more then one session, I was open and able to hear presenters discuss ideas and strategies that I plan to use to continue to grow my confidence and ability to speak in public.

Now I am back home and as with most transitions in my life I am feeling a bit sad about the end of 4th grade because I so appreciate the teachers and what the experience has given to my daughter and quite frankly me too.  At the same time I am more excited to watch and experience the next stages and steps of the journey knowing each of us will continue to grow because we know we can.

References

Dweck, C. (2015). Carol Dweck revisits the ‘growth mindset.’. Education Week, Retrieved from: http://www.edweek.org/ew/articles/2015/09/23/carol-dweck-revisits-the-growth-mindset.html

Celebrating the Bridge Between Home and School

Families

 

building-bridges-aspire-siraj-gregory-penn

On Friday, May 6, 2016 as I prepared to close my computer and meet my daughter at the bus, I sent an email to her teachers, recognizing the tremendous work they do to facilitate her learning.   I did not just randomly send the email, I wrote it because Friday May 6, 2016 was the conclusion of this year’s National Teacher Appreciation week and I wanted to make sure these two amazing teachers headed into their weekend knowing how much our family appreciated what they do everyday.

Two days later on May 8, 2016, families all over the United States, including mine, celebrated Mother’s Day, which according to Wikipedia is a “modern celebration honoring one’s own mother, as well as motherhood, maternal bonds, and the influence of mothers in society”.  In June there will be a similar celebration honoring Fathers and in September another celebration honoring Grandparents.

Each of these celebrations separately recognizes the role and influence of an important adult in the life of a child. They honor and celebrate the individual contributions of adults in the home and at school, the environments known to be the most influential in a child’s life. Supportive adult-child relationships in both these settings deserve celebration as they can set a course for the future success of a child.   However, research tells us that the potential for success is elevated when the celebrated adults at home and in school build relationships that bridge the two environments. Relationships between home and school have been “linked to greater academic motivation, grade promotion, and socio-emotional skills across all young children, including those from diverse ethnic and socioeconomic backgrounds” (Halgunseth, Peterson, Stark, & Moodie, 2009).

Families and teachers each hold unique knowledge about a child. They each hold pieces of information and perspective that contribute to the “whole child”. They have insight into a child’s strengths and challenges based on observation in their unique environment. They hold unique hopes and dreams for a child based on various influences and experiences including family culture and school curriculum. Respectful relationships and 2-way communication between the important adults in the home and at school allow for sharing of the unique knowledge each holds. It creates a place to identify and discuss similar as well as opposing ideas, to build shared understanding, and to set common goals that everyone can support.

Building strong trusting relationships between home and school is not easy. It takes commitment, time, and dedication. As a place to start, schools needs to create a culture that is welcoming and respectful, where each family is seen and treated as a partner and ally in a child’s learning process.   Teachers need to work together with families to identify paths of clear 2-way communication that best fits their distinctive relationship. And strategies need to be developed so consistent opportunities for families and teachers to share information, perspectives and decision-making are regularly available.

To me it seems more than serendipitous that a week of teacher appreciation is directly followed by a celebration of Mothers (or any important adult in our homes).   It seems that someone (perhaps a Hallmark executive) in their infinite wisdom recognized the shared responsibility these adults have for the future success of our children. I know from now on I will consider this week of celebration a symbol of what is possible when the important adults at home and at school build a bridge to support and elevate the potential of the children they love and teach…. How about you?

Resources

Halgunseth, L., Peterson, A., Stark, D., & Moodie, S. (2009). Family engagement,

diverse families, and early childhood education programs: An integrated review of the literature. Retrieved from http://www.naeyc.org/files/naeyc/file/research/FamEngage.pdf

 

Change in Three Equal Parts

Leadership, Personal Growth

Successful change can be seen as an equation of three parts. It takes intellect, behavior, and emotion, not necessarily in that order, but always the sum of the three in equal parts.  The equation begins when one part leads the way. For instance when a person falls in love, emotions charge out as the leader often over riding the other pieces. It is when clear thinking and behavior catch–up a person is able to participate in the new relationship in a way that is sustainable and successful. Consider another example, the ability to successfully change a personal habit like smoking. A person may want to quit because they possess information about the benefits of not smoking, but it is when the information is coupled with motivation and a plan for a new behavior that eventually permits successful sustainable change to occur.

The same is true in the places and systems where we work and volunteer. Data and information (intellect) can lead a process of change, but without a clear and adaptable plan on how to get there (behavior) and a let’s give it a try attitude of the people involved (emotion) then success will be difficult.

How many of us have been given a top down instruction to change the way we are doing something because the data says it will be more productive, but have not been given a plan or the resources to do it? Or on the other hand we have been given instructions to do something in a new way without the data to support why? In both of these situations people react with emotional negativity loaded with the fear, frustration, and mistrust that notoriously stifle successful change.

When systems change is approached from an understanding of the three parts equation, then it stands a much better chance of being successful and sustainable.   When information is available and a clear plan is developed then emotional resistance comes around much easier. When information and positive attitudes come together then a plan or new process can be developed.

Life is a series of ongoing personal and professional changes. The next time you are faced with change rather then dragging your feet and trying to stop it, use the three parts equation of intellect, behavior, and emotion. Be curious and gather information for understanding, develop an adaptive behavior plan, and face forward with openness and positivity. Remember it does not matter which piece leads the way, but to be sustainable the other two must follow.

 

Mas Conoceimiento – Menos Discriminacion

Leadership, Personal Growth

 

The cornerstone of our experience, based on practice, theory, and research, is the image of the child as rich, strong, and powerful.  The emphasis is placed on seeing the children as unique subjects with rights rather than simply needs.  They have potential, plasticity, the desire to grow, curiosity, the ability to be amazed, and the desire to relate to other people and to communicate.  

                                                                                                                                              ~ Carlina Rinaldi

More Knowledge – Less Discrimination

luz groupo

Last month, I had the honor of spending 7 days in Honduras as a service team member at Montana de Luz (http://www.montanadeluz.org), a non-profit organization that provides a loving home, education, and a hopeful future, for children with HIV/AIDS. The priority of Montana de Luz (MdL) is to help the children who reside there heal, thrive, and grow. The staff functions as a family, providing loving relationships and opportunities for each child to develop to their full potential.

In Honduras, as well as many other countries around the world, HIV/AIDS has a terrible stigma and those who are inflicted with the infection are often marginalized due to lack of knowledge and misunderstanding.   As a way to defend themselves against this stigma, the teenage children residing at MdL have created a group known as Luz: Para Las Personas Con HIV who have designed an interactive presentation on the Myths and Truths of HIV/AIDS. As part of our MdL service team experience, we had the opportunity to attend the presentation that included PowerPoint slides, a pre and post quiz, humor, and detailed facts, completely presented by the children. For me it was one of the highlights of the week. I was amazed how poised the children were as they shared insightful information in a way that was on par with any of the professional presenters I have experienced in my life. I saw beyond each of the children’s strength and potential to become contributing citizen of Honduras, I witnessed their abilities as current and future leaders of Honduras.

Although one of the uses of the presentation is to educate service teams while on the grounds of MdL, its greater purpose is its use beyond the gates, in churches, schools and community centers, to dispel assumptions, educate with facts, and advocate for all people who are infected with HIV/AIDS.  Each time these children who are 13-17 years old, leave the safety of their home to take their presentation to others, they exhibit their ability to face forward and to be strong leaders. They exhibit bravery, facing their own fears, as they head out into a society who stigmatizes them. They exhibit their readiness to take risks as they face audiences who have assumptions about who and what they are. And they exhibit confidence as they work together to share the facts of HIV/AIDS and advocate for their rights and the rights others.

The following YouTube clip has been created by MdL and the Luz group. It shares a small portion of the information in the hour-long live presentation and stars many of wonderful children who call Montana de Luz their home.  I hope you find it as inspiring and hopeful as I do.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gwW3VLKVD0c

 

Early Childhood Care and Eduction: A Field of Leaders

Leadership, Personal Growth

The following is an article that I wrote and was published last fall  in the California AEYC journal Connections. 

A Field of Leaders

When we think of a leader, most of us think of the President, the Quarterback of our favorite NFL team, the CEO of a major company. But when you look closely at the definition of a leader – a person who directs or guides others, you see that any person who works in the field of early childhood care and education (ECCE) is in fact a leader because they guide children everyday. It does not matter if you are a lead teacher, a home care provider, a classroom assistant or the staff person preparing the meals, the work you do with children is leadership and as a field we need to begin to recognize and take the role seriously. Further, ECCE must go beyond simply being a field of leaders to becoming a field of effective leaders so our status can be advanced in the public eye. Here are some steps to get us started.

Effective leaders are intentional in what they do. In ECCE this means you are intentional in the work you do for and on behalf of children and families.   You establish routines based on current research and best practice so the children you serve can develop to their full potential. You recognize how your work is supporting the individual development of each child in your care and how it will affect their future. You maintain a high level of professionalism at all times.

Effective leaders share what they know. In ECCE this means not just being effective with the children, but communicating with others about what you do. You talk with families each day about your approach and their child’s progress so you can work together to support their child’s development. You collaborate with ECCE colleagues to support each person’s professional growth. You showcase the field of ECCE in your community to advance public awareness. You share your expertise with your elected officials so they support policies and practices that positively affect young children and families.

Effective leaders take risks. In ECCE this means you get out of your comfort zone and take a step forward to becoming a more effective leader. Although you are scared, you commit to taking a class or entering a certification program to increase your professional knowledge.   Although you are shy, you commit to talking to each child’s family everyday.   Although you are busy, you invite colleagues to meet regularly to network and share ideas. Although it means more work, you contact a local business and ask them if they would host a Week of the Young Child exhibit. Although you have never done it before, you send your congressperson an email asking them to support a piece of important legislation.

As a field of leaders, the ECCE workforce must be intentional in our commitment to advancing our field, taking one small risk at a time until we have the status we deserve, wages that are worthy and all children and families have access to affordable, high quality, early childhood programs.